Max is strong-willed. Max pretends that he can’t hear me. Max doesn’t respond to discipline. Max is four.
I didn’t know what a strong-willed child was before him. My four other children have always responded well to discipline and not really caused me much grief. Max, however, has made me cry, yell, lock myself in the bathroom, and stress eat- all in the same afternoon.
It’s not that he is a bad kid. Max just doesn’t do a good job of controlling himself. He doesn’t know how to keep his emotions in check (a feat some adults are still working on). And doesn’t seem to understand (or care) that his job is to obey.
- He hits/kicks when something upsets him.
- He yells when things don’t go his way.
- He questions and argues with EVERYTHING I say.
- When he gets excited, he pushes
- I have tried spanking, time-out, taking things away, reasoning, ignoring, making him go to his room, excluding him from fun events… and nothing seemed to phase him
I had all but given up on trying to wrangle his strong will when I was given a copy of Motivate Your Child by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN in an exchange for an honest review. Reading the book was beyond helpful and really gave me my first taste of heart parenting. From that book I found that I had been going about this thing (Max’s attitude) the wrong way. I had been dealing with his actions and not his heart. As I gleaned from the pages, improvements were made and to this day he’s doing much better.
Motivate Your Child Action Plan Review
Being just over 150 pages in length, you’d think this would be a quick read. I suppose you could just read cover to cover in a couple of days but that would defeat the purpose.
Sir Francis Bacon said, “Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested: that is, some books are to be read only in parts, others to be read, but not curiously, and some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention.”
Motivate Your Child Action Plan is unequivocally the latter.
While having the first book isn’t absolutely necessary, it is incredibly helpful as Motivate Your Child is referenced many times in the Action Plan. To help you further create your own customized parenting strategy are 12 (one for each chapter) streaming audio presentations from the author.
Within the book you’ll find 12 chapters:
- Change in Forty Days
- Where Do You Want to Go?
- The Map to Get There
- Working Together
- A Place for Firmness
- Visioning Moves You Forward
- Teaching Shows the Way
- Spiritual Energy Provides Strength
- Coaching Sets the Attitude
- Building Motivation from within
- Growing Together
- Good Theology Makes it Work
Yes, you read Chapter 1 right… You will see change in forty days. Perhaps not a complete 360 degree change but change for the better in some manner. That is assuming that you “stick to your guns” and follow your plan.
With this book I primarily worked on a plan for Max while taking mental notes of things that might work with the other kids. I will tell you this- commitment is a requirement for success. While we have been making strides, I can always tell when I haven’t been completely committed and begin to let things slide.
Learning to heart parent has been a game changer for me. I’ve learned how to coach and not condemn. I’ve also learned the power of positivity and it’s amazing.
If you only buy one parenting book this year… make it this one.