So, chaos has been a think in my life lately. I posted the other day about things not going my way . . . and then today happened.
For months now I have purposefully been grappling with my mommy anger. A year ago, my attitude was horrid. If anything went wrong, I would throw a fit- literally.
But thankfully, I’m much better now. The attitude-laden, assumption-making, glare of death-wearing lady (aka Dragon Mommy) has been left behind and replaced with a much sweeter, patient lady.
But lately, it seems like I’m being tested to see if my transformation is real.
We are a Sonlight family. I just purchased the preschool teacher guide a couple of weeks ago and planned for Louisa and I to start the program today now that I’ve got all the books and stuff. Well, I sat my guide on the floor to gather our materials this morning and then proceeded to knock my favorite mug (filled with coffee) on the floor.
Guide soaked and ruined. Favorite mug broken. 4-foot diameter coffee mess.
Coffee splattered on multiple school books. Crap.
. . . sigh . . .
So I cleaned up the mess and sent Sonlight an email asking if they’d send me a new one for free. The answer ended up being no, but I did get the new one 50% off and with free shipping, so that’s nice.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that when I knocked my coffee on the ground, I also knocked over one of my very few fall decorations.
Poor stemless pumpkin.
Anyway, so once the mess was cleaned up, the coffee towels put in the washer, and the area closely examined for broken pieces of ceramic, I went to wash my hands.
Are you kidding me???
That’s my hand soap dispenser. It was at that moment that I nearly lost it. I stood there staring at that stupid hole in the stupid soap pump thing.
Then it hit me, I was mad.
I was mad, but I wasn’t crazy. I was mad, but I hadn’t yelled.
As I realized that I had overcome my anger, I began to smile. I had beat it!!! The anger that had controlled me for so long had hold no longer!!!
And that my friends is worth a happy dance.
So is Dragon Mommy really gone? Yes, yes she is.
So how did I get rid of Dragon Mommy?
Well, a whole lot of prayer to begin with, and I began apologizing to the kids each time I raised my voice or treated them with less love than they deserve.
I’m a reader at heart, so a few materials that helped me along the way are:
For the Children’s Sake – a Charlotte Mason book, but it’s about so much more than just homeschooling. It’s about seeing our children for who they are- perfect images of God who have been entrusted to us
Triggers – THIS ONE. This one right here REALLY set me on the right path. With short daily reads, encouragement, and practical application, it was this book that has probably helped me the most.
A couple of helpful blog posts I read . . .