Marriage breakdowns are devastating and are going to be difficult on everyone, and even more so when there are children involved.
Often times, however, children are the ones who end up suffering the most as a result of divorce. This can be because no one really talks to them about what’s happening, or even worse, they feel like they’re stuck in the middle between their parents.
However, this is something that can be completely avoided. Of course, divorce is still going to be the last resort and the outcome that most people would prefer to avoid, but it doesn’t need to have the negative effect on your children that it could have – and could actually end up teaching them more about how to develop healthy relationships. As with everything, it’s all about how you approach the situation.
If you have decided that divorce is the only way forward, then it’s important that you find a good lawyer such as someone like understanding Tailor Law Professional Corporation who can support you and advise you throughout to ensure things are done quickly and amicably.
Talk about it as a family:
Of course, you don’t want to, nor should you ever burden your child with the problems in your relationship, but if you and your partner have decided to split, then this affects your child and they should know about it. Especially if they’re old enough to understand what divorce means, then a good approach here would be to sit down as a family and discuss what’s happening, allow them to ask questions, and make a co-parenting plan for moving forward that your child is included in and not just told about later. Getting everything out in the out open and letting them know that it will be fine is a good way to teach your child about healthy and open communication.
Be clear that it’s not their fault:
When it comes to divorce many children seem to think it’s their fault – and whether they voice this or not, it’s something they harbor inside and it can really affect them now and in the future. It’s extremely important that you and your partner let your child know that this is in no way their fault and that you both love them very much.
Reassure them that they don’t need to choose:
Another common theme during a divorce where children are involved is that they feel like they have to choose between the parents, and this is simply a burden that no child should ever have to bear on behalf of their parents. If you think that your child will or is feeling this way and you’re even worrying about things like what to do when your child runs away from home to be with your partner or that they simply can’t stand being in the middle, then this is something you’ll need to talk with them about and ensure that you and your partner are on the same page with as a family.
Never disrespect the other parent in front of your child:
If you want to show your child what a healthy divorce looks like and what healthy relationships look like, then the worst thing you and your partner could ever do is to disrespect or speak badly of each other in the presence of your child. You have to remember that your child loves both their parents and doesn’t need or want to hear your negative words about each other – even if you feel these things, then keep them to yourself or voice them when your child isn’t around.